Saturday, December 31, 2011

The IUI and a Happy New Year


It was a Thursday morning in October. I woke up and ran the fertility monitor (pee on a stick). It said I was medium for ovulation peak. Later that day I called the doctor to ask him if I should do an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) the next day, because we were using a different method than what he tells his other IUI patients.

Rewind to a few months ago after texting a friend, I was kind of convinced that Chase and I should at least go talk to the IUI doctor at our doctors clinic to see what he had to offer. It was great, he answered all of our questions, and knew exactly what he was doing. Later in the month I had my visiting teachers over and one of them used to work in that clinic. She said Dr. C is a great doctor and that he knows what he's doing. That was the assurance I needed to go through with this.

So we were planning on doing it the following month. Then we ended up taking Hurley into the Vet several times which cost us the money we were going to use for the IUI to pay for him to get better. So we skipped that month and decided to do it in October.

Fast Forward to that Thursday... Dr. C said we should come in with a sperm sample the next morning at 8.

So Friday we drop off the dog, Chase called his boss and his boss said to take the day off! YES! The nurse took the sperm to be cleaned and gets it ready for the IUI.

Almost an hour later they call us back. In my head I was thinking if I really wanted to do this or not. Was it going to work? Would we have just paid $300 for nothing? Would I get pregnant so easily? Is my uterus a hostile environment? A lot of questions to be thinking about for one simple procedure.

So I get undressed from the waste down, you know like a normal pap exam. I'm all ready to go. Then Dr. C comes in and they forget to put in the stirrups. These aren't the normal birthing stirrups. They don't have any place to rest your feet so it just hooks under your knees, and your feet dangle. Dr. C didn't use the normal speculum either, it was bigger. So once Dr. C is all situated he couldn't get the syringe with the rubber thing on the top (not sure what it's called) so he THEN had to use a tenaculum (yes one of those pincher tools) for my cervix (I even told Chase the day before that Dr. C would have to use a tenaculum). After everything was set (and he injected the spermies) he left everything be, and let me lay there for the longest 10 minutes of my life! I cried for the first few minutes because I was SO uncomfortable, and in a lot of pain. Yes, I know I have never given birth, so I don't know what that is like, but it was really painful. Thankfully I had an amazing husband who could see the amount of pain I was in, and hold my hand and stretch out my legs so that they wouldn't fall asleep (even though they did anyways).

After 10 minutes he came back in, slowly took everything out and said "Okay, we'll know in two weeks". I asked him if there were things that I should or shouldn't do, and he said nope. We left and I cramped the rest of the day. Like period cramps.

The waiting period was horrible! Two weeks really?! I have had weird cravings, loss of appetite, feeling exhausted the first week. I told a few of my friends, but no family. We were determined to keep this a secret so that we could surprise them. Each of them said they would keep us in our prayers and we prayed ourselves that the IUI would work and we could become parents. We were also hoping that if we prayed enough we wouldn't have to go through with another IUI.

The Monday of the second week I started spotting. At first it was really light, no clots so I thought it was implantation, seeing as I had heard that some women spot during that time. Then by Wednesday or Thursday the amount of spotting was increasing and clots were coming. I didn't even try a pregnancy test, because I knew that this was the beginning of my period.

I cried for several days after because I knew I wasn't pregnant and it was heartbreaking.

Fast forward to the beginning of December (yes we waited because of $$ issues, I mean who wouldn't have $300 every month to spend, right? Or am I the only one). We decided we were going to do another IUI. Same thing as before saw medium on fertility monitor call the Dr for an appointment the next day. This time was a little different. I started freaking out the day before we were supposed to go in. Bad anxiety, stressing because I didn't want to go through the same pain that I went through for the first IUI. I asked Chase for a blessing. I knew and had faith that I could be calmed down by that, and that things would work out. It is amazing to have a husband be able to give me that.

The next day, Chase could tell that I was a lot calmer. I felt better. We get to the Doctors office and things ended up going better. My cervix was straight and he was able to easily put the syringe in. This time there wasn't NEARLY as much pain as the first time, I was SO grateful!

The Dr. said the same thing as before, 2 weeks waiting. This time we told a few more friends and asked them to pray for us. This time we fasted (because it happened to fall over the first Sunday) and prayed harder. We still didn't want to tell our family or many friends hoping that it would work. I also tried several times to forget, so I could focus on other things and not stress on something I had no control over. I had a friend (this was the first time I told her about the IUI) who asked me several times the first week if I could feel anything different, which defeated the purpose of not stressing over something I couldn't control.

The second week came and I started cramping Monday and then Tuesday morning before I flushed the toilet I noticed there was a little teeny thing that wasn't blood but transparent in color. I cried all morning, because I knew that I had either miscarried or the IUI didn't work again. I cramped bad the rest of Tuesday and then Wednesday and Thursday I started cramping with light spotting, until it was my period once again.

About a week or two ago we felt like it was time to tell our family. Or at least our parents, actually my dad doesn't really know yet, maybe I should tell him. haha We sat down and told Chase's parents that we had done two IUI's. Chase's parents were actually starting to wonder what was going on, apparently one of our friends had sort of spilled the beans at a baby shower that Chase's mom went to. Both sets of parents are more than supportive and will do anything to try and help. Which has made it more bearable.

This past week we tried another IUI. It was kind of last minute. The day before the IUI the fertility monitor said that I was at a low. Then the day of the IUI it jumped to a high. That day we called the doctor and they wanted us to come in as soon as we could. Not like it has to be done in the morning, our Dr. just sees other patients so it's best if we come first thing in the morning. This time it went a lot better. I took it easy the whole day, tried keeping my feet up or at least sitting. Chase and I were able to take the day off and we spent it relaxing. :)

I know this is a long post! I have been wanting to tell all of my friends, but I wanted to wait till I was either pregnant or we told our parents what we were doing.

I kinda have been making a joke about the IUI, that "you know what we were doing..." :) it's really lame I know, but it makes me laugh. I sometimes feel that asking for prayers is being prideful or vain, because I know there are lots of people who could use prayers more than us. If you are able to pray, please do. I know we would never make it without your prayers. :)

I hope and pray the new year brings us pregnancy! I know it's in the Lord's timing, but it can be hard at times to know that we are doing everything we can, and we are still not seeing this blessing that we have been praying for.

Happy New Year

Friday, December 02, 2011

The Heart Burn

Cleaver name. You'll see why.

I made this cute frame for Valentines Day. Yes I know it's not Valentines Day, but I never get around to crafting when the right month is around. :) Just how I am... Plus I forget and then say to myself I need to get to crafting...

I decided to craft this:



I have looked to see where I have copied it from and I can't find it anywhere. I thought it was super cute.

I started gluing all the pieces on then I was on my last one (the bottom right) and I was trying to turn it so I could stick it to the paper... it totally fell out of my hand and I burnt myself really really bad! Like 2nd degree burns. It was all on my little pinky finger. It has been hurting really bad tonight and I went to go get some burn cream, and that didn't even help! So I now have a fear of my glue gun and we decided that we shouldn't be friends. So that is why I have all this "Heart Burn."


Look at that big bump! Kinda blurry sorry... Can you tell I had been crying? Puffy eyes.