Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pregnant or Not, Life will move forward

I have been debating on whether to write this on our blog or not. I have felt like no one can relate to me or even wants to listen to how I feel, like my feelings don't mean anything and that only theirs is whats important.  Which actually happened to me a few weeks ago regarding this topic (story for a different time, maybe never actually). I know I should be thinking there are people besides my counselor (and Chase) that want to listen to me. This might get a little personal, for me at least. Please understand that I'm not trying to complain, but I honestly think people other than my family need to know, and plus since the word got out (thanks David) to my mom and the rest of the DeArmon family, I had to tell the Palmer's too! So here goes...

Chase and I got insurance last November. As soon as I could I set up an appointment with a midwife at the Timpanogos Womens Clinic in Pleasant Grove, I did. I wanted to talk about what my options were, because I was worried about the medicine I was on and the effect it would have on if I got pregnant. She assured me that as soon as I found out I was pregnant I should taper off of the medicine and that if I needed to be back on it I could probably get back on it in the 2nd or 3rd trimester. I thought sweet, Chase and I could start trying to have a baby. We thought it would be cool to do the "if it happens it happens", and thought we'd get pregnant really fast. A few months later (6 months to be exact), we still weren't pregnant and some serious stuff happened to Chase and I and my doctor told me that it would be best if we didn't have children right now, and that it would be best to use other methods of protection. I think I cried for a few days after that, and even when I think about it I get teary. Mainly because my doctor told me no, and felt like the whole world was telling me no. Since then, Chase and I are a lot better, and have actually been "trying" for the past couple months. No, I'm not pregnant, and don't think we will get pregnant any time soon. I'm not trying to be negative or think negatively, but it's always the feeling that I've gotten ever since we've gotten married. I'll be honest, it's completely heartbreaking to even think about, and it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about not being able to have children, and be like a lot of my friends. I haven't been told that I'm infertile, and maybe it will eventually happen. I have tried so hard to be strong and withstand people asking (even if they are joking- there's still some truth to it still) when we'll be starting a family. Chase and I want to start a family, and would love to be able to be pregnant, but it hasn't happened yet. 

So there's what I've been wanting to say for the past few months! Hopefully it all made sense!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Chase's Birthday - Almost 2 months late!

So Chase's Birthday was August 18. He was lucky enough to turn 25. He's old right!? ;) I tried, like I always try, to make his birthday special. His birthday fell on the week that I went to Education Week at BYU. Which on a side note was probably the best education week that I have ever been to! It was so uplifting and I learned so much about how to better my relationships and finances, and to organize.

We went to the Village Pizza (I think) place for dinner near where we live. We got the best BBQ Chicken pizza. It was really good. I also made him this VERY Chocolaty cake that was so rich and delicious! I got the idea from this blog.Please don't judge what it looks like on the outside, because darn it! It tasted so good!

So I bought kit-kats to go around the cake. I thought that I could leave the chocolate in the car for maybe 15-20 minutes withouth being all melted, ya didn't happen. (haha, middle of the summer, what was I thinking?)

Here's the birthday boy MAN!
Taking a first bite!

Chase's Birthday was on a Wednesday and since Chase's family always goes out to dinner for everyone's birthday (and am hoping this will never end, even when we have little grand babies running around). I opted to not do dinner on his birthday because I figured that he'd want to spend it with me. Is that too hard to believe?! :) So we went Thursday instead. Chase gave some options and everyone agreed to Texas Roadhouse! YUM! And if you know Texas Roadhouse with birthday's you'll know they have birthday peeps sit on a saddle! and say "lets give them a big YEE-HAW!" Yup, Chase and G-Ma Kartchner (she didn't and was too embarrassed to) got to be YEE-HAWED to. I happened to be too early when taking the picture, so it wasn't the best photo. 
He loved his new shirt so much that he decided to wear it the following day.
Grandma was super embarrassed. That's why her eyes are tightly shut.
Logan, Grandma, and Mom Palmer. I call Chase's dad Raydad too...
Birthday fun! 
Raydad, Chase and Me.
G-MA Kartchner and Mom Palmer

I would've shown the one with Logan and Jenny. But I felt like since they aren't together anymore, I shouldn't cause anymore pain to his big heart! :)

I threw Chase a birthday party on the Saturday after his birthday. I was expecting a lot more people to show up then actually did. :( So we made TONS of food, and had lots of leftovers! We had fun playing some water balloon volleyball, and some minute to win it games too! But most of all we just sat around and talked a lot! Oh yeah! I totally forgot to take pictures of his party! Opps! I hope that doesn't happen next year!

I really hope Chase had a great birthday, and knew how much he is loved by me and by family! I hope he had a lot of fun too! :) LOVE YOU BABE!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I think I'm back!

Thanks for all the comments! I am definitely WAY behind in blogging. So I think I will take the time to update on much needed photos!

So I will start with the photo of my friend Sarah and I. Sarah and I have been friends since fall of 2007 when we took Chemistry together. We have had classes on and off since, and have still stayed friends. She has been working towards going through the temple for a while now and was finally able to go at the beginning of August. It was amazing and I am so glad she invited Chase and I to be a part of her experience! Here we are after the temple at the BYU Creamery.