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Thursday, May 06, 2010

Hard few weeks!

I'll be completely honest. This may be a post that you might not want to read. So I'm warning you now that way you can just look the other way, and read other happier posts, that I have scheduled for later this week.


Chase, and my family know how angry and pessimistic I can get with school and just life in general. A few weeks ago I had a wake up call where I realized that I needed to change the way I think and feel, and for some reason ever since then it's been super, super hard. Its like when you start reading your scriptures again after a few months of not reading and for some reason trials get harder and it seems like it was thrown in your face, even though you know you're doing what the Lord wants you to do. These past few weeks I have felt like a teenager with all these raging emotions inside of me. One minute I'm fine, and the next I break out into tears, it happened in Relief Society on Sunday, and I am honestly glad I went because I knew it was what I needed to hear, especially one sisters testimony. I haven't felt normal since that wake up call, and I wonder when and if I will feel normal again. One key thing that I think would help is to have and be more patient, to relax, not be so serious, and to have more fun. So that is my goal. I am also asking my family and friends to please bear with me while I keep this goal, and to maybe ask and see how it is going. I know changing the way I think and feel is the only way it will help with my relationship with my husband, family and friends. Yes there is more to the story, but I figured I would spare you those very grim details.

But on a very happy note. This past semester Chase and I thought it would be best (and thanks to the position that he got back in September) if I quit working, and just focus on school full-time. I was only taking 13 credits but it was extremely hard, and I did everything that I could to keep up with my school work. It paid off! I know I shouldn't think the best of this, but I ended up having to retake anatomy, because of my failed attempt last spring. Well apparently it worked. For some reason anatomy seemed to click better, and I was able to fully understand the things that I was learning. I did still have to put in a lot more effort compared to my other classes. It worked, I got the grades that I wanted, and now I have a boost of confidence. So now I can finish physiology at BYU this spring, and study my brains out, and know that I can make it through anything!

3 comments:

Chris and Paige Evans said...

You can do it Tedi! Good luck with accomplishing all your goals and finishing school!

Belle said...

Hey! Getting through each semester can be a real challenge. It's awesome that Chase is so supportive. I like your ideas about trying to relax and be patient and have fun. That's what I'll be working on in future semesters too. : )

Katie Rasmussen said...

You're awesome sista. I love you and you really can do anything. You've got some of the smartest brains I know. :D